All the Angles
by RagnarokSkurai
Summary: Sawyer knows he and Kate have no future together.


Written for the cues quotechallenge on livejournal.

_If he touched her, he couldn't talk to her...If he loved her, he couldn't leave. If he spoke, he couldn't listen. If he fought, he couldn't win _- ARUNDHATI ROY, The God of Small Things.

* * *

Kate and Sawyer might be able to have something, 'cept she's gunning for his spot. Sawyer knows why. Maybe under other circumstances he'd do something about it. He likes her. She likes him. That's still there, under all the bluffing and tricking and shuffling back and forth. Sawyer's a conman, and Kate's a natural born fan dancer – you wait for the fan to move enough for you to see what you want, but she's always a split second ahead of you. The fan moves, but Kate does too, and you're left scratching your head.

That's the real reason he can't be with her. He gets a feeling that he'd wake up one morning lying in a half-made bed, the note on the pillow beside him filled with apologies and excuses and lies.

Right now, Kate's gunning for his spot on the boat. He knows why, but that doesn't mean he's going to do her a favor. If she gets his spot on the boat, she runs and he never sees her again. If she doesn't get his spot, the rescue comes and it's all over. Ten to one Kate's heading to jail and staying there. Long shot, she finds a way out of it. Longer shot yet, Sawyer goes with her. Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that's what happens. You know what they have then? Dirty hotel rooms, dirty jobs, dirty souls. Crossing state lines and losing time and all sorts of other things you can never get back.

Does he really think Kate would tag along with him until he found Sawyer? Would she ever help hunt down a man he wanted to kill? Doubtful. Sawyer doesn't see that in her. A woman who risks everything for a toy airplane isn't going to help kill an old man in cold blood.

Then again, if you think about it, a woman who risked everything for a toy plane might know a bit about obsession. But what does it matter, right? Even if she did help him, what then? They pretend to be normal people. Sawyer can see them in a little house in Montana or somewhere else in the middle of nowhere. No neighbors for miles, a porch swing and a dog. Money and fake IDs in a box in the closet, a gun tucked under the bed, another hidden under the floorboards.

Or maybe they play it a little safer and settle across the border. It still wouldn't be long before someone tracked them down. There's always some Mexican official on the up-and-up that could use a little clout with the US government. There's always someone willing to sell your secret for you. After that, maybe they go off to jail. Maybe they get gunned down. Maybe they're still quick enough to shoot the cops and get away, but there are only so many times you can get away. There are only so many times you want to get away.

Even now, Sawyer itches to be caught.

There's no farm in Montana, no room in Mexico city for them. Wouldn't work. They're both running, but with Sawyer it's to something, and with Kate it's not. A fundamental difference there, one he can't just ignore. So he knows they've got nothing, and sometimes he thinks maybe he should give her his spot on the boat. He's been chasing Sawyer for more than twenty years, what's another month? He thinks about it, but he doesn't do it. Because Sawyer doesn't play nice. It's just not in him. He can't chitchat and pretend to be interested in something he's not if there's nothing in it for him. He doesn't do favors.

They're got nothing. No future. No past. He and Kate aren't destined for a happy ending. Not even Locke's 'Island of Second Chances' spiel can convince Sawyer of that. And some would say there's no time like the present, but getting close to Kate wouldn't be temporary. Sawyer knows that.

So he keeps his mouth running and his hands occupied with building the boat, as far away from her as possible. Sawyer's figured out all the angles, and he's got nothing. Time to bow out gracefully, teeth clenched. Kate's a dead end option, and Sawyer won't corner himself in like that, no matter how much he wants to.


End file.
